You Know You've Lived In Peru For Awhile When..... (50 signs)

Hello everyone!!

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the warm weather!! It is really starting to get cold here.... but in t-minus 1 month I will be in the hot and humid Texas heat, so I'm trying not to complain too much (yay!! and sad!! very bitter sweet).

I've seen a few "You know you (insert example here) when...." lists lately, and decided it would be fun to make a "You Know You've Lived In Peru For Awhile When...." list. After 2 whole years here I feel it's appropriate to share some of the endearing, hilarious, very different, (and, let's be honest, sometimes frustrating) cultural normalities of this country.

A few of these I saw in other blogs of the same topic and they were just too perfect and too funny NOT to steal, and the others I had a good laugh making up myself while thinking back over my time here.

Those of you who have been in Peru will probably "get it" more than others, but hopefully even if you haven't had the amazing experience of Peru first-hand, you will still find this entertaining and maybe learn something about the place that has been my home the past 2 years.



You Know You've Lived In Peru For Awhile When.......... (50 signs)


1. .... You go to cross the street and instead of still yelling "We are going to die!!" (as you yelled, or at least thought, upon your recent arrival to the country), you now actually believe the car has the right of way and let them pass first

2. .... You get used to rice being part of a every meal, and if the rice is missing you are confused and highly suspicious of this meal's potential to satisfy your hunger

3. .... You already know what underwear you will wear on New Years Eve.... the yellow pair, duh, along with yellow everything else

A typical market booth in the days approaching New Years Eve.... In Peru, wearing yellow brings good luck

4. .... You show up for any event 2 hours later than requested on the invitation. And you are still the first person there.

5. .... You remember the prices of food in the USA and are appalled of how much you used to spend.... $20 for a plate of food???? Are you kidding???? I could buy 8 "menu"s for that price..... (menu = 2 course meal with a refreshment).

6 .... You can't imagine a good cheers! with anything but a delicious Pisco Sour, and you can't imagine a refreshment more delicious than cold Chicha Morada (especially with your ceviche)

Peru's national alcoholic drink, the Pisco Sour

A tall jar of Chicha, which is a drink made of boiled purple corn, sweet apples, pineapple, and lime

7. .... You automatically know that every time estimate is BS and triple it

8. .... You no longer think twice about sharing a beer glass with 6 total strangers and then dumping your backwash onto someone's living room floor

9. .... You actually understand the meaning of "un poco mas alla" or "por la vuelta" as specific directions..... and find the place with out a problem

10. .... You think in terms of soles and don't convert them to dollars in your head anymore

This is what Peruvian money (Soles) looks like... Which, in my opinion, are way prettier that US dollars!!

11. .... You use combis and colectivos more often than taxis to get around

12. .... You rarely shop in grocery stores and prefer local markets

So fresh!! So natural!! And supporting local farmers!! Yum.

13. .... You have favorite specific vendors for your fruit, vegetables, beans, and cleaning supplies, and they all know you by name and give you huge hugs when you go by (aren't Peruvians just the most affectionate people??)

14. .... Seeing another white person walking down the street and coming towards you is possibly the most awkward social situation of all of your time in this country.... First of all, what brought you here?? I thought I knew all 5 of us white people that lived in this city.... Secondly, is that really how out of place I look walking down the street?? I kind of felt like after a few years I started to blend in.... And third, what language do you speak?? Should I say "Hello" or "Hola"???? Or maybe you are German or French and don't say either of those.... Which then this confrontation always results in awkward eye contact, looking away, and walking by. I guess they were having the same thoughts about me????

15. .... You love Inca Cola more than any other soda

Mmmm tastes like carbonated bubble gum

16. .... Someone covers your food with "an assortment of random creams" you don't question it (after all, everything is better with Huancaina sauce)

17. .... You feel like you will pull your hair out if you hear "Marisol", "Hermanos" anything, or "Grupo 5" one more time 

Please no.... not again.

18. .... You find yourself struggling to remember certain words in English. Spanglish is the norm amongst North American friends

19. .... Tipping in a restaurant after a meal is now a totally foreign concept

20. .... You have to pay for toilet paper in a public restroom (or bring your own), and throwing it in the trash can instead of the toilet is a normal habit

Bathroom.... To urinate: 30 cents... If you want to urine with paper: 50 cents more. (Thanks to my friend Jose for this pic!!)

21. .... You have learned not to make eye contact with anyone who is selling anything on the street, because they will take it as a sign of interest & yell after you until you are out of sight

22. .... You don't stop at stop signs, you honk & if anyone is coming through the intersection; they are expected to do the stopping. Also, seatbelts, road lanes, and stop signs are optional. Really the only traffic rule that exists = whoever is bigger, wins.

23. .... You are very seriously concerned about how you will handle professional life in the USA with out a daily 2-hour nap time scheduled in after lunch

24. .... You see roughly 48 different stray dogs on any one excursion around town.... In fact, there are more dogs than human beings on any given street

Normal

24.5 .... Seeing this dog is no longer shocking (the official Peruvian Dog)

25. .... You've learned to ignore whistles, catcalls, honking, yelling, and other random gestures of interest from the majority of males walking down the street.... So much so that sometimes you end up ignoring people you actually know who intend to greet you 

26. .... Everyone assumes you're rich because you're white/a gringo (annoying)

27. .... If you don’t greet with a kiss on the cheek, they will find you

28. .... Time is more of an idea rather than an actual instruction

29. .... Public transportation is a sketchy, dirty-looking teenager yelling at you to get in his sketchy, 20-year-old van that is covered in stickers of marijuana leaves with a sign on the windshield that says something like "SEXY MOVIMIENTO" in a weird, red, dripping-blood font 

In the USA, this van is something you would be so sketched out by that you would probably try avoiding eye contact with the driver.... In Peru, you pay to stuff yourself in here with 15 other people

30. .... You automatically try to conserve the water because you never know when the city will stop sending water to your house or your electricity will randomly get shut off for days (which in turn inhibits your water pump from working)

31. .... You pass a single donkey cart carrying one man, one wife, two small children, a sleeping baby, the family dog, and a box of guinea pigs all sitting atop a mountain of corn stocks during your daily morning run

Poor thing

32. .... You are totally used to people describing someone based on their very blatant physical appearance.... for example "El es el negrito gordo con un narizaso y ojos chinos", AKA "He is the little fat black man with a huge nose and chinese eyes" .... and you forget how totally offensive and NOT politically correct that sounds in English.

33. .... 1,000 year old ancient ruins are so commonplace they double as playgrounds for neighborhood children (seriously)

34. .... You’re so used to stomach ailments that you and your friends regularly discuss your bowel movements with out inhibition

35. .... You don’t notice if a song is in English or Spanish until ½ way through

36. .... Haggling for taxis and mototaxis is second nature

Yeah, this is what I take to work every morning, a moto

37. .... Your hands are dry and calloused like a washwoman during the Dust Bowl because of hand-scrubbing your laundry and handwashing your dishes in freezing cold water.... A machine you just PUT things in and it washes it FOR YOU?? Is that really a thing that exists???? That life seems so far behind me now....

38. .... You’re no longer horrified by the prospect of eating potatoes, rice, yuca, and bread in the same meal (low-carb, low-starch diet = not in Peru.)

39. .... Anyway that a potato is served, sounds good to you.... Mushed, filled with olives and chicken, put in a leaf and baked?? Boiled and mashed up with mayonnaise?? Sweet and soaked in fish juice?? Sliced and served with cooked guinea pig?? Bring it on. 

A Peruvian Cuyada.... AKA, cooked guinea pig (see him back there?? poor guinea pig....) with rice, onion, and potatos.

40. .... You are so used to natural remedies that seeing someone with flowers rolled up and stuffed in their ears or leaves taped on their eyelids doesn't phase you

41. .... You go out to a club with friends and when a popular song comes on, everyone + you starts doing the choreographed "Combate" dance moves in synch (by the way, Vamos Verde!!)

42. .... Although you'd never admit it, you have wondered at least once if the belief that cold things make you sick is true

43. .... You have had head lice, intestinal parasites, ringworm, toe fungus, severe gastritis, or Dengue Fever at some point.... if not all of the above.

44. .... You have learned to peacefully co-exist with the fleas living in your bed

45. .... You really are convinced that Peru has the best food on the planet (but seriously, it's soooo good) 

46. .... The first thing people ask you as a foreigner is "How do you like the food??", this is even before how you like the people, the culture, or the country.

47. .... You can safely assume that if a wedding reception "starts at 9:00pm" you will be served dinner at 12:00 in the morning and the dancing will start around 1:00am.

48. .... A party = people sitting in chairs against the wall and watching each other dance in the middle of the circle.... but at least there is a big plate of food involved??

49. .... You think arriving 30 minutes late is early 

50. .... You understand all of the jokes and references in this video and think it's hilariously awesome that Marca Peru sponsored this .... (even if you haven't been to Peru, you should still watch this video though, it's great)