October 13, 2010




My six inches of scarf so far



            Miscommunications have become a daily part of my Peruvian life. Speaking in another language is hard, and it is even harder when your comments are constantly being misinterpreted into something else entirely. Here in Chimbote, for example, if you compliment someone’s garden, the reply will most likely be, “Ok, this Saturday at 4pm you come over and I will teach you how to garden.” All of a sudden your intended side-comment to start a conversation becomes an obligation.

        Two weeks ago I was in a patient’s house and her daughter was crocheting a scarf. I was standing alone with her in the living room and decided to speak with my toddler-age Spanish after about 30 seconds of awkward smiling.

Me: Me gusta tu chalina. (I like your scarf)
Her: Gracias!! Sabes que como tejer?? (Thanks!! Do you know how to crochet??)
Me: No, no puedo. (No, No I can’t)
Her: Bueno, este Jueves a las 4 in la tarde puedes venir y te enseño. Puedes comprar linea in Al Centro hoy dia antes de 9. (Great, this Thursday at 4:00 in the afternoon you can come and I will teach you. You can buy yarn downtown today before 9pm.)

        Needless to say, this situation escalated into a twice a week visit to this lady’s house to learn how to crochet my new red scarf. I have about 6 inches done so far, 3 more feet to go. Two days ago, I was talking about cooking   lunch for my community every Monday with another nurse. It went a little something like this:

Me: Tengo que cocinar cada Lunes (I have to cook every Monday)
Her: Que te gusta cocinar?? (What do you like to cook??)
Me: No puedo cocinar muy bien. Puedo cocinar pasta y otros cosas muy facil. (I can’t cook very well. I can cook pasta and other easy things.)
Her: Pues, este noche tengo tiempo libre. Me llamas antes de 6:00 y puedo venir a tu casa enseñarte como cocinar Estofado de Pollo. Hasta luego!! (Well, tonight I have free time. Call me before 6:00pm and I can come to your house and teach you how to make Estofado de Pollo. See you later!!).

          I was left standing there mid-sentence (“But I have English class tonight and can’t….), a vegetarian with a date to learn how to make a chicken and rice dish before 6pm.

    At first this attitude seemed presumptuous and frustrated me, but I am starting to see the beauty in it all. The Peruvians attitude is to drop everything they are doing just to share their culture and lives with someone they barely know. In The United States, we are all so rushed and living inside of ourselves that it is a huge inconvenience to have to pause and share something with another person. Our usual way of communicating is to have an interaction to get our point across. Here in Chimbote, the interactions are so much more about sharing presence, life, stories, hobbies, language, and love. Their openness and willingness to bring you into their culture with open arms is so beautiful and genuine. While I might not be too excited about having 3 more feet of red scarf to crochet, I feel blessed to have this time to share with the Señora who is teaching me. It is about the conversation and the presence, not just the messy ball of red yarn sitting beside me.

At least someone is excited about the scarf making

A Short Life Update!!

October 1, 2011

         I CANNOT believe it is already October!!!! How is time going by so fast?!

         Things here are going really well. I am still loving Hospice. The Hospice team is really like a little family, and I am so excited to be a part of it!! They are always joking around with each other and laughing. I am happy that I am in a work environment that is so positive and motivating.

         Our community is still going well. Definitely it is challenging, but that was to be expected. I am really glad that I am living with Kyle, Kelli, and Emily. We have fun together and the vibe in the house is really full of life and love. Fidea is also doing well, most importantly. Last night we may or may not have dressed her up in Puppy, RN’s clothes (a build-a-bear stuffed animal I have that is wearing nursing scrubs). She hated it, and it was weird, but we got some funny pictures which is what matters.

         I went to my first Casa de la Mujer meeting this week, and I am obsessed with it!! It is a community center for women’s empowerment and equality. They have meetings once a week, and work on different project in about 6 month to one year sections. Now until December is an Anti-Violence and Awareness project. The meeting Thursday was super interesting and I felt so welcome there!! I even talked outloud about respect and equality and men and women working together…. In Spanish!! Yeah yeah yeah.

In other random news:
- Today at 4pm is the “Blessing of the Animals” mass at our church. Everyone brings their pets and there is a big outdoor mass to bless all of them. Dogs, cats, rabbits, some people even bring their cuyes!! (Pictures below)

- I am playing "Muerte" or "Death" in our parish's play about Saint Francis of Assisi. It is super fun and I love everyone involved in the show and our theatre group!! (Pictures below)

         This is a short update, but overall I am doing well and enjoying my days!! It is so crazy that while the leaves are changing and falling at home, the sun is shining brighter here every day. It is a change, but everyone knows how much I love summer so I think I won’t have a problem getting used to a 90 degree Christmas (where they apparently still serve hot chocolate??).

         You are all in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I hope everyone back home is doing well, and please send me updates about your lives as well!! I love and miss all of you.

Paz y cariño!!!!

The Sacrifices of Love

September 24, 2011

         There is a big hill here in Chimbote called the Cerro de la Paz with a church on the side, and a huge cross on top. It takes about 2 hours to hike all the way up to the cross, and the cross can be seen from all over the city. It is a constant reminder of Christ’s sacrifice for all of the people living their busy lives below.

A view of Cerro de la Paz at sunset from our balcony

         The other day was the Dia de Juventud, the day of the youth. There were parties and dances and celebrations everywhere!! We went to a dance with the youth of our church on Friday night, and then on Saturday morning got up early to join many other youth from different parishes to hike up the hill to the cross.  Each group had their own song sheet to chant while walking, their own prayers to say at every station of the cross (which are posted on the path), and a large wooden cross to take turns carrying up.

         This started out as a “wanting to experience a part of the culture thing” but ended up being a much more spiritual experience than we thought. Kyle was able to take a turn carrying the cross up the hill for 2 stations, and afterwards we were talking about how powerful that was for him. Carrying the big wooden cross just 2 stations up a hill, knowing that it would soon be passed to someone else, and having all of his strength and health to carry it up. We talked about Jesus, and how there was no end to his burden of the cross, and once he reached the top he knew he would die (not join a big group of Peruvian youth dancing and singing silly Spanish church songs as we knew we would be doing). Jesus had been beaten, without sleep, food, or water. What a powerful love to be willing to do this for such sinful people.

        
         It all reminded me of a conversation we had the other night about the young generation here compared to the older generation. The older generation seems so tired, so hard working. Their hands are dry, cracked, and wrinkled from so many hours in the sun working in fields or washing clothes. In their faces you can see the stories of their memories of “the violence” that was such a huge part of the Peruvian terrorism in the 1970s and 1980s. You can see how much they sacrificed for the future generations of their families, their children and their children’s children.

         Then there are the youth of today. Wearing jeggings and tight t-shirts and blasting techno music in the streets. Disobeying their hard working parents and living their rebellious teenage lives. It is sad that this older generation worked so hard and suffered so much for their grandchildren to…. Dance to reggaeton and eat fast food hamburgers from a street vendor??

         But wait. We ARE those kids.

         I started thinking about my parents and how much they have done for me.

         My dad always talked about his one room house on a farm with his mom and 2 brothers. Chickens lived in the floor and that is how they got their eggs in the mornings. He would dig up some kind of root and sell it to pharmacies for some extra cash (which means about 50 cents). He walked forever to school, in the snow, to his tiny one room school house where he graduated in rural Oklahoma with a class of something crazy like 20 people. He was one of the first people (if not the first person) in his family to go to college and get a degree. He worked hard, studied constantly, and became an engineer. He worked in an office, lived in Iran for a while, and married my mom and then worked to support not only himself, but her.

         Then I thought about my mom. She also grew up in a small house with 3 other people. She was one of the only women in her highschool to get a college education. She became a secretary and worked very hard. Then after marrying my dad, she worked very hard to have a nice family and a nice home for both of them.

         THEN, after ALL OF THAT, they had me. And had to work EVEN HARDER!! To make money to support me, to teach me to talk and walk, to teach me to be a moral and ethical person. They provided me with food, water, shelter, clothes, love, support, advice, hugs, late night talks, homework help, an education, a love for Christ, a love and respect for animals and the environment, a need to do service, a passion for living life to the fullest. And so much more I can’t even think of.

Then I repaid them by arguing to stay out later, asking for even more money to buy clothes or go out to eat with friends, and begging for a new car when I turned 16. As if I wasn’t already blessed with more than enough.

I guess it doesn’t matter what culture you are living in, this is something that defies cultural borders. Someday these party-loving youth will grow up and have to handwash their clothes in the hot sun and scrub their floors on hand and knee. Just like someday I will be working hard to make money to put my own food on the table, and someday to support my future children the way my parents so lovingly and sacrificially supported me.

So it all comes back to this idea of sacrifice for the ones that you love. My parents gave so much in their lives to have what they have now, to support each other and me. And I want them to know while they are reading this, that there are no words in any language that could express my gratitude and how blessed I feel for their hard work, from age 10 when my dad starting selling Snakeroot, to 2011 when my mom now makes me my favorite meals when I come home. Jesus does the same thing for all of us. We argue and try to be independent and live our own rebellious lives, but in the end we are so grateful for his life, suffering, and death. Because of his life, we have the hope and grace that we have today.

          In the end, thank you mom and dad for being the most amazing people and parents, and thank you Jesus for the sacrifice you made for your children all over the earth.

         

(home)Sick

September 13, 2011 

           This week I got sick for the first time since being in Peru. I woke up around 5am throwing up and couldn’t stop until like 5pm. I was literally in bed until 7pm. It was really hard to be sick in such a foreign place. Not only was I not with my mom and dad to comfort my sickness, but other things that I take advantage of in the States were not there to help either: a hot shower, a movie to watch curled up in bed, friends to text when I felt lonely, a grilled cheese with tomato soup, mindless television to get my mind off of how I was feeling… Nope. None of those things. I laid in bed and slept in and out all day. Occasionally I would wake up and run to the bathroom, or snuggle Fidea (who was being a great nurse cat), or take a drink of gatorade and then fall back asleep (gatorade that Kyle bought me before he went to work, along with a packet of saltines and washing out the vomit bucket beside my bed… what a wonderful friend!!)

            Not only was this the first time I was physically sick, but it is the first time I have really missed home. I guess that being so vulnerable will make you realize the things you don’t have that you used to cling to for comfort. I kept thinking about my dad’s foot rubs and grilled cheese sandwiches (that are grilled to perfection) and laying on the couch watching DVRed TV series with my mom before bed. Driving in my car with my friends and listening to loud music (in English). My Living Word church community back in The Woodlands who embrace me so strongly every time I go back home. Eating familiar foods. Blow drying and straightening my hair (or really just feeling clean in general). Being able to have a conversation without having to form the sentence in my head before I speak outloud. My pets. My bed in The Woodlands. My bed in St. Louis. My apartment at SLU. My friends from school. Bars and restaurants that we would frequent. Not feeling dust in my sheets when I go to bed at night. Using a washing machine and a dryer. Drinking water with out having to boil it. Going out dancing on the weekends. Going out to eat and having a glass of wine with dinner. Wearing sundresses. Being able to actually flush toilet paper down the toilet. Going to see shows at The Fox or The Hobby Center. Swimming in my pool. Italian food, Tex-Mex, even drinking a glass of milk.…..

            But then I snap back to reality.  This is where I am now. This is my life now, and it is a beautiful one!! One major challenge for me is staying truly present where my feet are. When I stop daydreaming about my unnecessary comforts of home that I take so much advantage of, and realize the reason I am here and the vocation I am fulfilling, all of that longing subsides. I am here to live simply and intentionally. With out all of those comforts of home, to be in solidarity for just two years with those who never know what those things are like during their entire lives. I hear the vendor outside yelling “Zapatos!! Cuadernos!! Zapatos!!” (did that guy just say he is selling shoes and notebooks??), I see the kids playing on the street with marbles and wooden tops, the little old man I see every morning while walking to work smiles and says, “Hola gringita” in his raspy voice, and I walk into the homes of my hospice patients and I am embraced with such a warm familiarity and love after only being here for one month. I will still get lost in daydreams of my life back in the USA and feel a longing to hug and laugh with my mom, sit by the pool and have a long conversation with my dad, and dance the night away with my best friends, but I know that in two years I will have the chance to do all of that again, and with the people of Chimbote is where God is calling my name now. This is where my feet are. 

(Some things that make me less homesick....)

Making Mexican tortillas with Kyle (it still didn't taste the same as home though!!)

Fidea!!!!!!!!

Delicious Peruvian desserts.... Arroz con Leche and Masa Morado

9.11, Terrorism Around The World

September 11, 2011

         Today I pray for all the people who lost loved ones on September 11 in the terrorist attacks in New York, Washington DC, and in Pennsylvania. I also pray for those around the world of different countries and religions who experience terrorism and war as a part of their every day reality. That God bring all of these people peace and comfort in a time of such great grief and sorrow.

My Schedule

September 9, 2011

         I have finished with my first week of work. I am still excited about my vida Peruano and what the future will bring. Everyone in my community is loving their service sites right now and feeling really useful, which is so great that we can share all of this joy and relief with each other.

         We finished painting the Incarnate Word symbol in our chapel room – and it looks so beautiful!! We are all so happy to have a prayer space in our home. Emily and Kelli are going to try and find a chalice to put in the corner to be representative of the Eucharist, and we have left over paint to paint some quotes on the walls or the pillars of our community.

         My parents have been asking what my schedule is like, so I thought I would write it out here.

MONDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm-3pm – lunch and siesta!!

3pm-6pm – home visit with Hospice

7pm-7:30pm – nightly mass

7:30pm-9pm – teaching English at the parish

TUESDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm-3pm – lunch and siesta!!

3pm-6pm – home visit with Hospice

7pm-7:30pm – nightly mass

7:30pm-?? – community night with Kyle, Kelli, and Emily

WEDNESDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm-3pm – lunch and siesta!!

3pm-6pm – home visit with Hospice/Casa de la Mujer meeting

7pm-7:30pm – nightly mass

7:30pm-9pm – teaching English at the parish

THURSDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm-3pm – lunch and siesta!!

3pm-6pm – home visit with Hospice

7pm-7:30pm – nightly mass

7:30pm-9pm – Choir and volleyball with the youth group at the parish

FRIDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm-3pm – lunch and siesta!!

3pm-4pm – Interprofessional meeting at the Hospice center

6pm-8pm – English conversation night at our house with our English students from the parish

8pm-?? – Whatever we want to dooo!!

SATURDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am-1pm – home visits with Hospice

1pm – 8pm – nothing to do

8pm-10pm – Game night with the youth group at the parish

10pm-?? – Friend time!!

SUNDAY:

7:30am – daily prayer in our chapel room

8am – back to bed!!

11am-1pm – TEFA (theatre) meeting at the parish

1pm-7:30pm – free time

7:30pm-8:30pm – Mass at the parish

         I am really trying to find another group to join for another service site, as kind of an outlet for all of my energy that I can’t really expel while nursing old people all day (though I really do love doing that). There is a women’s empowerment group called Casa de la Mujer that I am thinking about joining on Wednesday afternoons instead of going back to Hospice. I miss having a sense of political progression in my life. I also would really love working with kids, so I am trying to check out different after school programs or daycares that I may have time for in my week. There is also a prison ministry group that Kelli is also interested in that I am thinking about looking into.

         That is all for now!! I love you and thanks for reading this ridiculous epic novel of a blog that I am writing.

Texas Wildfires

September 7, 2011

My tears, heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to everyone back home in Texas who have been and unfortunately will be effected by the wildfires. My community and I are praying hard for everyone.

Nursing in Peru

September 6, 2011

   

Community Hospice Team for September

         I love hospice!! I am really enjoying my job so far!! Hospice is perfect for me. I am able to use my nursing skills, orient myself to the community (since I do house visits all day), learn more Spanish, form personal relationships with families, and get closer to my co-workers who I go out in the city with. I am also learning some great nursing skills here. At the same time, I am seeing a lot of nursing practices here that I know are wrong and harmful to the patient. It is hard to walk a line between respecting the culture and traditions, and being a patient advocate when I know something is wrong.

         We meet at Hospice at 8am, debrief on the patients we will go see that day (two teams of two people) and are rationed out supplies: 2 packets of gauze (and not even enough to pack the wounds, and once we are out of gauze they cut up menstrual pads to tape on, not kidding), 1 IV start kit (and if the vein blows or you don’t get it in the 1^st/2^nd/3^rd time, you keep reusing the same IV start catheter and needle), a small bottle of iodine and “sterile” water (that was boiled and left out for a day or two), and some masking tape. Around 9 we leave to go out into the community. We do about 5-6 house visits in the morning from 9am-1pm. We return and visit 2-3 patients in the afternoon from 3:30pm-6pm. I have been going out with a nurse named Maria (Mary) who is really cheery and fun to be around. I like her a lot and she is very patient and teaches me a lot.

         

Mary and I!!!!

         So far I have performed really basic care, and I have a feeling that is all I will do while in this specific position. Wound care (there are bed sores here like I have never seen), dressing changes, IV starts and hangs for those who are dying and can afford the comfort of hydration and possibly pain meds, vaccinations, bed baths, starting catheters, administering meds, changing colostomy bags. I am going to be a pro at taking manual blood pressures by the time I leave. I have also gotten to learn a little about the natural medicine that is used here. For example, a boy burned his bottom lip and it got infected, and Maria wrapped his lip in a penicillin leaf. We also do a lot of reflexology massage for pain (narcotics aren’t really a thing that happen here). I am really excited to learn more about natural remedies.

Mary hanging an IV from a wood and estera ceiling in a patient's house

         All I can say about the care here is that they do the best they can with what they’ve got. Literally the skin breakdown is so horrible here that it goes down to the bone. People die from bedsores. I have seen lots of bones and muscles just open to the air. I was cleaning an old lady’s leg wounds from skin breakdown, and I was cleaning her femur bone with no analgesics or pain meds at all. She was screaming the whole time but it had to happen. There are people so skinny that their muscles have completely disintegrated and they are just skin and bones – in a very literal sense. You can see the outline of every bone and joint. Range of motion exercises are barely something that is a priority, so many of these peoples’ knees and arms are permanently curled up in a flexed position. This is a project that I may want to start a movement for in the Hospice center.

Preventative care isn’t really done here because it really can’t be. IV antibiotics aren’t available, by mouth medicines are sometimes available but so expensive people cannot afford them. In the States where it is a goal to turn patients at least every 2 hours, here it is MAYBE every 2 days, or whenever Hospice visits and turns them, which could be twice a week or even just every Monday or however many times the family can afford it. All they do is change the dressings and put antibiotic cream on the wounds. Palliative care is also very different here than in the States. As I said before, pain medication isn’t really used and comfort isn’t the priority. The priority is prolonging life…. Which is pretty much the opposite of back home. Sterile procedures are also impossible. They have gloves that are packed in a sterile packet, but we only get one pair for the whole day and have to decide which patient and procedure has more of a priority. Today Maria put in a catheter with only clean gloves and had layed it down on a table before inserting it. I was shocked, but I guess that is just all they can do here??

Sol, one of my patient's grand daughters. She always tries to help when we are there.

We go to many different types of neighborhoods and houses. There is no specific socioeconomic class that Hospice caters to, it is just for anyone that can pay the minimum amount for the services. We have gone to houses with walls made of cardboard boxes and dirt floors, and houses with cement walls and tile floors. It really is interesting to see the economic class differences in such close proximity to each other.

Some diagnoses that my patients have had so far: Uterine cancer, breast cancer so bad that it is eating her breast away, spinal fracture causing waist down paralysis, Alzheimer’s, Diabetes, Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, brain tumors, and dementia, to name a few.

Me and one of my patients, Paula.

While this all sounds really sad and depressing… it is also very eye opening and I am learning a lot from the patients, their families, and the nurses, especially Maria. I am forming some great friendships out in the Chimbotano community. Things are done differently here but I think it will make me a better nurse in the end. I love being able to go into people’s homes and share this deep experience of caring for a loved one with them. Every hug and besito that I receive is an affirmation of why I am here; to embrace and learn from the Peruvian people and to do all that I can to walk in solidarity with them and offer anything I can to promote their health and well being. And I think that kind of love goes being lingual boundries.

P.S. Random fact: Almost all of the houses here look only half finished, and we were wondering if it was just so they could add on or build a second floor in the future. Well, Kyle found out that if a house is considered under construction then they don’t have to pay property taxes. So people just pretend their homes are still being built, but really they have no intention of adding on and are just avoiding taxes. Que interesante.

Starting My First Real Person Job!!

September 4, 2011

I start work at Hospice tomorrow, eek!! Please pray for me!!!!

Witnessing Injustice

September 3, 2011

         Today Sister Juanita took Kyle and I out to tour Hospice, where I will be working, and other services offered by a program that she works for. We were able to see different libraries, day cares, primary schools, collegiate programs, and safe houses.

         Hospice is absolutely beautiful, and I am ecstatic to work there. She has done an incredible job with it, and I can’t wait to be a part of the Hospice team!! The building itself is very clean, with 2 different wings of patients and multiple gardens outside. There is an entire interprofessional team there; doctors, nurses, psychologist, social worker, nutritionist, physical therapy. Along with the Hospice building, there is also an external Hospice team that meets at 8am Monday-Saturday and goes out into the community. This is what I will be doing. Going into people’s homes and cleaning wounds, changing dressings, starting IVs, giving medications and vaccinations, bed baths, family education, etc. We go out in teams of 2 nurses. I am really anxious to start working, but nervous at the same time. I am ready to be nursing again and be out in the community learning more about the people of Chimbote and forming relationships with families and my co-workers, but I am also nervous about the language.

A photo of the squatter community

         While we were driving around, Sister Juanita told us about a neighborhood we were driving by and how there was a huge panic because all of the people living there (about 300) had a week to move out. They were a squatter community that the government gave 3 weeks to find a new home, thus they are all being displaced. Driving by we saw mothers carrying babies, kids playing in the street, an old man sleeping on his porch. It was frustrating to think that the government is just removing all of these people from their homes and their lives, and not even helping them to find another place to go. It is easy for the political officials in their nice clothes in their nice offices, far away from this community in Chimbote, to thoughtlessly sign away these people’s neighborhood… but what about these individuals who literally have no where to go?? What happens to the babies, the children, the old man on his porch?? I am sure they don’t know where they will be sleeping in a week from now. All I know to do is pray for him.

The prison to the right

         We also toured Cambio Puente, where Kyle will be working. The largest prison system in the area is there. This prison is highly overpopulated, with thousands more than it was built to hold. I understand they are criminals, but they are also still human beings. It doesn’t make sense in my mind to punish people for treating others inhumanely, by treating them inhumanely. To punish injustice with injustice. I understand that there needs to be consequences for wrong actions, obviously… but isn’t this just further motivating the cycle of violence and a disregard of human life??



Little by little, we can change our lives to be better

          In lighter news (sorry for all of these rants ahh!!), we went to our friend Anthony’s birthday party on Friday night and it was super fun!! Lots of sitting against the walls and dancing in the middle… but with good friends and good food and little Tequila!! I am slowly learning to not be such a Gringa and dance salsa and cumbia with out getting totally confused the whole time. Tonight we are going to the wedding of Rita’s son!!!! I think it is going to be really fun and I can’t wait to experience a Peruvian wedding. I am sure there will once again be wonderful food and lots of dancing.

         Our community is doing well still. Fidea sleeps with me every night and we snuggle. I might get fleas, but what matters is that Fidea is cozy and has a warm place to sleep at night, right?? I start work Monday and I am so excited but so nervous!! Also, the churros here are amazing and I am going to gain a million pounds because the food is so good. I went to a couple of TEFA meetings, the parish theatre group, and I really like it!! I really think I might join. Every day I feel more familiar with the streets around our neighborhood and with our neighbors (I am starting to identify my neighbors homes by their dogs sleeping on the sidewalk outside their door haha). I start teaching English classes this week too, so my schedule is all coming together!! I am excited for my Peruvian life here and to start really feeling like I am a part of something.

And Vegetarianism Begins Again

September 1, 2011

Ok, my eating meat phase is done. Finished. Over it. That was a good two weeks long??

         Today I was walking to a woman named Rita’s house with Kyle and Kelli (Rita is a friend of Kelli’s and her son is getting married this Saturday, so we went to help with last minute wedding decorations). We were walking down the street, when I heard a loud weird yelling sound and looked up to see what it was… a semi-truck was driving by with a flatbed in the back. On the flatbed were live goats laying on their sides, tied to the wooden truck bed with ropes around their bodies and necks, with their heads almost completely hanging off the truck. Their heads were bouncing with every pothole, their legs were kicking, their eyes were huge and full of fear, and they were screaming in their little goat voices.

         My eyes filled with tears and the image is still ingrained in my mind. I understand that there are people that have to eat meat to survive and I don’t condemn that. As for me, I can’t do it and I can live with out it.

         I remembered how I felt in 9^th grade when I first decided to be a vegetarian. Back then, it wasn’t like it is now where I also have environmental, economic, and political reasons for my vegetarianism. It was purely the life of the beings that were being consumed. The fear that they feel before they are killed, the confusion when they don’t know what is about to happen right before they lose their lives. Animals, just like humans, have nociceptors (nerves that feel pain). Even if they are being killed on a family farm, they feel a bullet crushing through their skull, they feel a knife slicing through their throats, trachea, esophagus. They also feel the fear and adrenaline when they know something is wrong and their brain starts to pump the “fight or flight” chemicals through their bodies as a result of the Sympathetic Nervous System. It is factual that they become tachycardic and the adrenaline that starts pumping through them when they know they are going to die makes the meat taste differently, this is why some meats are hung up to let those chemicals run out of them before they are sold.

         I just kept thinking about how the goat even got into that position. The person would’ve had to push it over, hold down it’s head and legs, tightly tie the rope around its skin while it was screaming and trying to run to save its life.

         There are many reasons to be a vegetarian: Acreages of land used for growing food that is fed to livestock – which should be used to grow food to go to starving people all over the world. The pesticides that are used on the grain and plants fed to the livestock that gets in our topsoil and our rivers. The pollution emitted into the air by slaughterhouses and factory farming institutions. Eating other species to the point of a threat of extinction. Our own personal health when we ingest meat that was injected with steroids and unnatural tablets.

         Lastly, is the murdering of animals for consumption. Yes there is a different between torturous, disgusting, inhumane corporately owned slaughterhouses and individual farming. I agree with that, and I agree that I would rather an animal live a happy life running around on a family owned farm and then be quickly shot and used for food… but for me personally, I can’t even do that. I just can’t support taking a living creatures life for my consumption when I can easily get my nutrition elsewhere.

         My compromise between my commitment to vegetarianism and my commitment to solidarity is to never use my stipend to purchase meat. Never purchase it in the markets or in a restaurant or eat it of my own accord. However, when it is offered to me by an individual or family who has specifically planned this meal for a special occasion and are proud to offer this meal they have prepared, I will respectfully take it and be gracious for their beautiful hospitality.

Some delicious colorful Peruvian veggies from the market



Sick.



Community Love!!

August 31, 2011

         I just want to say how much I LOVE my community!! Every night before bed we have reflection time in my room. It isn’t like a required thing, we just do it for fun if we aren’t too tired, and we all sit/lay on my bed and read a story out loud or just talk about our days and joke around and laugh and play with Fidea.

         I am so grateful to be in a community of such open and loving people. I feel so at home and comfortable here with Emily, Kelli, and Kyle. Our personalities mesh really well and we are able to share our worries, our hopes, our prayers, our fears, and our joys with each other. Whether we are lounging in the living room talking about political movements, sitting at the kitchen table talking about our service sites over lunch, dancing and laughing with music playing in the kitchen, praying for each other in our chapel room, or snuggling on my bed reflecting upon the highs and lows of our days… I feel complete here. I feel whole in this community.

I am so excited for the beautiful spirits of these 3 people and what the next year will bring!!

Kelli, Kyle, me, and Emily at a friend's wedding

Effects of American Globalization

August 29, 2011

Another great weekend this past weekend!!

Friday night the four of us went to a bar with friends (Anthony, Giancarlo, and Richard) to watch a live band play. Here there are a lot of cover bands who cover American songs, especially 80s rock songs. They sounded good though!! We got to try Peru’s national alcoholic drink, which is called Pisco Sour, which is like am amaretto sour kind of?? It was good, but realllllllly sour.

Saturday and Sunday we were pretty much at the parish the entire time. We went to a meeting for the youth about leadership. It was interesting to participate in a leadership workshop when we didn’t really speak the language… but we had fun and made more friends!!  Saturday night we played games with the youth group.

This afternoon we went to a fundraiser for hospice (where I will be working). They had Pachamanca food there and tickets were $10. Pachamanca is a tradition food that is cooked underground and is common in the Sierra Mountains. We had two different kinds of potatos, rice, and meat wrapped in a big banana tree leaf.

Something that has really stuck out to me here is the impact of United States culture on the rest of the world – and not in a positive way. The billboards have white people on them, posters advertising fashion have Caucasian models, the Peruvian people sing “Happy Birthday” in English and learn how to play American songs on their guitars, gang-tagged walls with spray paint are written in English, the mannequins in the windows of clothing stores have white skin and white features, etc. It is such an eye opener on the effects of our culture on the rest of the world. It is unfortunate to me that the young people are not embracing the traditions of their own beautiful and rich culture with such an incredible history, but instead are yearning to be a part of this “American pop culture”.

Is it something for us to be proud of that our (the United States) culture and presence in the world is so imperialistic and imposed so strongly on others that they are losing their own identity to become more Americanized?? On the other hand, I guess these are just the more tangible effects of globalization which is inevitable, but it is hard for me to see and not feel guilty about it as a representative of this country that so often thinks it is superior to others and others must be like us. Why is ENGLISH seen as “cool”?? Why is white or light seen as “beautiful”?? Why are OUR fashion trends considered what “should be” popular?? I just wish every culture could see the beauty in their own music, food, history, traditions, and strong loving spirits… I wish that Americans weren’t so adamant about being #1 (and I don’t just mean politically).

All people in the world are beautiful no matter their color, religion, tradition, way of dancing, speaking, or sense of humor, no matter the food they eat or whether they ride a donkey or drive a Lexus. What is our world coming to when the eradication of different cultures and histories is just accepted as part of the norms of globalization?? Again, maybe this is inevitable for progress, change, and modernization to a more developed world. It just feels strange in a way, and is confusing to be part of.

4 Things I Want Right Now

August 30, 2011

A red bull, Imos cheese pizza, an episode of SVU, and Showtunes Tuesday.

Goodbye To My Vegetarian Vida

August 26, 2011

Ok, so this eating meat thing is really conflicting. I have been a vegetarian for a little over 8 years, and I didn’t realize how emotional it would be to eat meat again.

I decided to eat meat during my time in Peru for a couple of reasons. One reason being that my motivation for being vegetarian in the United States (the environment, world hunger, my own personal health, and animal cruelty and factory farming) are not applicable here in the small markets where my money will not be going to overpowering, monopolizing corporations with gigantic slaughterhouses that torture animals and pollute our air and land… but instead to individuals who live their lives just to sell a few chickens a day to put food on the table for their families, and these animals are raised naturally and humanely. Secondly, I decided that it wasn’t truly solidarity to come into a developing country with this seemingly elitist vegetarian diet where there are people here who could not afford soy burgers or meat substitutes or compensatory vitamins (if these things were even available), thus in order to walk more with the people I decided to compromise this part of my life. Third, it is extremely rude and offensive to turn down food when someone has killed a chicken for you or is offering you a part of their cow as a gift or special meal that they are proud to offer, so I want to be sensitive to this part of the culture.

The first piece of meat I had was chicken on a chicken leg in Lima. It felt so wrong to be ripping another animals flesh apart from its bone and ingesting it into my body. I didn’t really realize how strange and wrong it would feel. I am getting more used to it though and I think that it will be ok. It isn’t that it doesn’t taste good because it DEFINITELY does, but it just doesn’t feel right… oh well, maybe it will get better with time?? And the hamburgers are really, really good…..

Spanish Words I Have Learned and Love

August 25, 2011

-         Chevere = Awesome

-         Bacan = Cool

-         Champu = A hot fruit drink

-         Cachanga = a flat circle of fried dough

-         Capucha = hood

This champu and kachanga are so chevere!!!!



¡¡¡Super bacan!!!



My First Peruvian Earthquake!!!!

August 24, 2011

We felt our first earthquake today!! Apparently there was a big earthquake in the jungle on the border of Peru and Brazil and we felt it all the way on the coast. Kyle and I were making lunch and all of a sudden he stopped and said “Do you feel that??” I said “No what is it??” and he said “I thought it might be a tremor, but it felt just like a big truck driving by.”

We shrugged it off and then started cooking again, and all of a sudden the water in the pitchers started to sway and the ground under our feet swayed back and forth and our whole house was moving!! I grabbed Kyle’s arm and said “Should we go into the street?!?!” and he said “I don’t know, I think it is over??” and then Emily yelled from the living room, “Umm, guys, I think we need to get into the street!!”

We went out into the street and everyone was standing outside  wondering if that was the end of it. We stayed out about 5 minutes and then went back in. So crazy!! I had no idea it would feel like that. I am just grateful that we are ok and that not very many people live in the jungle so no one was reported injured or killed.

Our prayers are also with those back in the USA who experienced the Virginia earthquake…. And with the big hurricane coming. There are so many crazy things happening in the world right now, hurricanes, earthquakes, and fires.

These pictures have nothing to do with earthquakes, but they are beautiful pictures of the Peruvian countryside......

Chimbotano Life

August 23, 2011

Today is Tuesday and I survived my first weekend in Chimbote!! Friday night we arrived and went to get hamburgers sold by this street vendor that were AMAZING (I know we aren’t supposed to eat street food…. But how can you resist when it’s so good??). Kelli and Emily introduced us to a couple of their friends – Richard, Anthony, and Giancarlo. They all are really nice and are always friends with the missionaries, so it was good that they knew what to expect and were so patient with our Spanish. Saturday Kelli and Emily took us to the market to buy paint, and Kyle and I painted our bedrooms all day, it was a fun community bonding experience. Sunday we went to the Parish for the first time for mass and to meet our parish community there… Then Sunday night we went to a birthday party for our new friend Colver who goes to our church and is a director of the church theatre group, TEFA. It was super fun!! Lots and lots of dancing and some food, and mostly beginning relationships with friends that we will have for the next two years!! Some names of new friends we met are Danny, Guisella, Gary, Victor, and Samantha.
          

Other people I know the names of so far are Juana – a neighbor who makes homemade jam and brings it by our house once-ish a week, Oscar – a little man with a moustache from our church who always has a huuuge smile and just like bounces around hugging everyone and being happy, Lucha – a neighbor who is very motherly and always looking out for us, she makes ceviche and sells it out of her home, and John – a deaf mute who owns a gym near the church and is super nice and really good at communicating with his hands and facial expressions.

What I have learned so far in Chimbote:

FOOD: The food is amazing. Rice with every meal. The vegetables are so fresh from the market. We trade off making lunch every day and we go to the market the morning that we are cooking and buy just enough for that day. Rice, beans, and vegetables are staple foods here. Cuye, A.k.a. guinea pig, is also a specialty here, as with Anticucho (cow heart kebap style). The Peruvians love eating cuye and ceviche (fish with onion and lemon lime sauce). The largest meal is lunch, with a siesta built in afterwards (businesses close from 1-3) and then dinner is just light with bread and fruit. So far my favorite thing has been pollo con arroz (rice with chicken) and frejolada. Yes, I have started eating meat (including a little cuye) since I have been here…. Which is a lot more of an emotional experience than I thought after being vegetarian for 8 years.



My first (and last) time trying ceviche




Cuye head with rice





Pachamanca, a traditional Peruvian plate that is cooked in the ground



DOGS: Dogs here are everywhere. Literally. All over the sidewalks and streets, whether you look down or up (on the roofs) you will see a dog. People keep their dogs up on their roofs to protect them from getting broken into from above (there are not slanted roofs like in the states, but instead their roofs are made of flat concrete or a woven like plant thing). The dogs who have owners wear t shirts, like t shirts or even nice collared button down shirts that the owner has cut up and sewn to fit their dog. They also have an assortment of dog fleeces with different patterns that are sold everywhere. The stray dogs have no t shirts, but still follow you around and want to be petted nonetheless. Since there are so many stray dogs, I have never seen two dogs that look alike. There are many dogs with huge heads and tiny bodies, or huge bodies with tiny heads. Kyle and I’s favorite dog so far is our neighbors dog who is small and long and furry and weird looking, and has a huge underbite so it’s bottom teeth are always showing.



A dog in his flannel and overalls outfit



dogs in their matching homemade red tank tops



dogs on the roof



WATER: Water comes from the city, and it comes twice a day. We have an underground well that is filled up in the morning and in the evening, and we turn on a pump to pump it to a tank on our roof. Then it will come out of the sinks and the toilets, etc. We have to boil all water before drinking it for sterilization purposes. I haven’t gotten sick yet – knock on wood!! And while we have running water in our house, we have to take bucket showers because it is winter here and hot water heaters don’t exist. We have to boil a pot of water and then pour it into a bucket, then fill the rest of the bucket up with cold water until it is the right temperature, and shower by pouring a cup over our heads. It isn’t so bad!! Better than a freezing shower every day. Or every 3 days, whatever.



this green bucket is how I shower



SHOPPING: As I said before, we shop at the local markets. This is an area of land that is designated for people to come each morning and set up their booths to sell their product. It is open air to the outside, and hallways lined with booth after booth. An egg booth, a chicken booth, a clothing both, toiletries, fish, vegetables, fruits, dry beans, premade beans, animal food, dairy products, etc. Anything you need, you can find in the market. It makes for a very different experience than shopping in the states… but a more rich and beautiful experience. Already Kyle and I have an ‘egg lady’ who we regularly buy eggs from, a ‘potato lady’, and a ‘booth lady’ who just has this big booth of random stuff and gets so excited to see both of us when we walk by. It’s not only shopping, but forming relationships within our community and learning about other people every time we are there.



veggies in the market





outside of the booth ladys booth... rice, quinua, grains, etc.



we get our wine from these giant awesome barrels



MONEY: We get $80 a month stipend from the IWM progra

m to live on. That is about $20 a week. We get paid 3 months at a time. AKA I have to learn to budget my money. We will see how this goes!!



20 Peruvian soles



HOUSE: Our missionary house is way nicer and way bigger than I expected it to be!! We have two stories. Upstairs are four bedrooms and a bathroom. Downstairs is the kitchen, dining room, a bathroom, and a living room. Emily and Kelli decided to be roommates so that we can now make one of the bedrooms into a chapel for our house. We all think it would be nice to have a space specifically for prayer and meditation. We are planning to paint the Incarnate Word symbol on the wall and have our community nights there. I have my own room which is nice. Upstairs is also a balcony-ish thing with clothes lines and two big sinks and a washboard… since there are no washing machines and we wash all of our laundry by hand. Part of the roof is open to the sky, as is common with all Peruvian homes to only have part of a roof so air can flow through.

Our living room (with Fidea)

My bedroom

Our kitchen

Our dining room

COMMUNITY: Our missionary community is growing stronger each day!! Kyle and I are still getting along well and day by day becoming closer with Kelli and Emily. They are both really nice and fun girls who care a lot of Chimbote and the people here. We have been having a good time getting to know each other and they have been introducing us to our parish community and their friends. I feel very comfortable in my house with my missionary community and I am so grateful for them!! We also have a kitten named Fidea who is soooo cute and snuggly!! “Fideo” means “noodle” in Spanish, and she has this name because she was skinny as a noodle when they found her as a kitten in the back yard. Kyle and I are spoiling her though and trying to fatten her up.

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: We pretty much walk everywhere, but if we need to go somewhere further, we have a few choices. We can take a Taxi, which is pretty self explanatory. We can take a Collectivo, which is like a taxi but lots of people who are strangers all pack into the car until it is full and then it will leave for its destination. We can take a Combi, which is like a big van which has a specific route with a number on top, so you watch for the number you want and jump on. We can also take a Mototaxi, which are like motorcycles with two wheels on the back instead of one, and are like little carriages with seats in the back…. but instead of getting an image of a nice little quaint carriage, think of a carriage that is painted black and red and is blaring techno music as loud as it can be turned up.

 

Taxi



A moto in front of our house

 FIESTAS: Parties here are really, REALLY different than in the US. There are chairs lined up against the wall around the room, and people sit along the wall. Then when music comes on that people like, people get up in the middle of the room and dance (merengue, bachata, cumbia, salsa, etc.), and then sit back down again along the wall until another song comes on. Could it be more awkward?? The answer is no. But we have fun anyway.





Our friend Anthonys birthday party, everyone sitting in their chairs around the room




Dancing Salsa with my friend Colver

 



Oscar and Emily dancing



Everyone at our friend Colvers birthday party

OUR PARISH: We go to a small Catholic church called San Francisco de Asis. We have one father who is probably in his 30s and is from Poland – Padre Luciano, another older father from Poland whose eyebrows are out of control and really need to be trimmed (he looks like a muppet for real) – Padre Simon, and one more father from Germany who isn’t around too much. There are 3 different choirs and Kelli is in one of them, I am thinking about joining just to make friends and learn more Spanish. There is also a theatre group that I am really excited about. The youth group seems pretty active here and I am excited to make more friends. There is a small community of Incarnate Word sisters here in Chimbote, and they are also really great and live very close to our house and the parish.



The inside of our church





Canticos, Kellis choir, practicing for mass



Our church is to the left

MY SPANISH: My Spanish is coming along little by little, poco a poco. I remember a lot from living in Madrid, but the accent and definitely some vocabulary are very different. I can carry on a conversation, but certain conjugations and verbs are still hard for me to remember or process quickly enough to use them in a sentence naturally….  But that will come with time!! I am not too worried about it. I don’t feel any pressure because I know no one is expecting me to be fluent anyway.

 

        Eso es mi vida ahora!! I am really liking it here so far and feel like I am truly where God wants me. I am truly fulfilling a vocation that I have felt for years. I feel peaceful and grateful in knowing that this is where I am meant to be at this moment in my life.

Paz y amor!!