Inside My (Haunted) Peruvian House: Ghosts, Natural Remedies, and Parasites

Nov. 9, 2011

            Last night I was up until 3am, the girls picking lice nits out of my hair in our tiny bathroom, and me putting my sheets, pillows, and clothes into air tight bags to set out into the sun. When I was finally finished, I took a sip of my Anis tea and placed a white bell flower under my pillow. I then put my plastic vase of Ruda plant next to the head of my bed with a lit candle of the Virgin of Guadalupe and my Bible opened to Psalms.

            What is this all about you may ask?? Well, the first part is obviously because I have lice, contracted from who knows where, and had to decontaminate my entire bedroom in hopes that the eggs will not hatch and search out my head once again. This along with Kelli having mites on her hands and feet, our kitten Fidea having fleas, and Kyle thinking he has an intestinal parasite and insomnia. We are all doing pretty well here?? Hahaha. But seeing the humor in all of it for sure. We are all taking bets on what Emily is going to contract since she is next in line.

 The second part is a little harder to explain… But we can start with our Fig tree.

Our haunted fig tree attacking Emily and Kyle

The other day, a Senora was at our house helping teach Emily how to make Tamales (yum!!).

Me, Giancarlo, and Emily tamale making (though I really didnt do anything)

While they were cooking, there was a knock at our front door. Emily went to get it, and when she returned to the kitchen, the conversation went a little something like this:

Senora: Did you go out to look at the garden?

Emily: No there was someone at the door so I went to get it.

Senora: Oh, I saw a shadow in the garden, but it was probably one of the spirits.

Emily: What??

Senora: Well you have a Fig tree, which means your house is full of child spirits.

Emily: What???????

Senora: Any tree that is full of milk, like a fig tree or a banana tree, attracts child or infant spirits who died before they were baptized. But you shouldn’t be afraid, no children live in your house and you are all baptized. They only try to take people who aren’t baptized and other children or babies.

Emily: … You think there are little child spirits in our house because we have a fig tree??

Senora: Yes. I mean, they are here. They won’t try to hurt you, just probably knock things over here and there and knock on the doors sometimes. But occasionally spirits attract other spirits, so you should try to get your house blessed as soon as possible. Anyway, so about these tamales….

Emily and the senora

          After Emily relayed this story to Kyle and I, I was horrified. What do you mean our house is full of baby child ghosts who are going to float around knocking on our doors and pushing things off tables?!?!?!?! And worse, attract other ghosts who will do who knows what to us while we sleep. That night, I made Kyle sleep in my room. Bible open, Holy Water sprinkled around the perimeter of all the walls. The next morning, I retold this story to my co-workers at Hospice, hoping for a response of how ridiculous this all was and not to be afraid. THAT conversation went a little like this:

Me: … And so she said we have little baby ghosts in our house!!!! Isn’t that so crazy??

Nurse Ada: Well you don’t need to be afraid, they only want to take you away if you aren’t baptized.

Me: Wait. What.

Social Worker Anita: Yes, I had these child spirits in my house too. But after we put a blessed cross up in the branches of our fig tree, all the strange things stopped happening!! It is also good to open your Bible to Psalms, or light a candle.

Me: I think this is probably just all in our heads. Like do you really think this is real??

Doctor Cinthia: Oh, you think it is in your head?? It isn’t. They are definitely in your house. But don’t be afraid, just know the power of God is stronger than the power of these ghosts!! If you are really worried, cut the tree down.

Nurse technician Cesar: Yes, just get your house blessed. And until you have your house blessed, don’t let children come in, especially children who are not baptized or the spirits will try to steal them.

            You can imagine how this confirmation of spirits in our house made my heart stop. Ok, this is getting too crazy for me. I don’t believe in superstitions normally, but everyone made this sound so REAL. My co-workers then took me into the courtyard and proceeded to rub newspaper all over my body while chantin ghte Lords Prayer and then burned it on the sidewalk. The newspaper is supposed to soak up the fear and negative feelings you are having and burns them away. They said you can also do this with a piece of bread.

That day after work, the Pastoral Care worker from Hospice took me to the market to buy Ruda Plant. This is a plant that apparently spirits do not like, so if you put it in your room they will hate it and not come in to haunt you. We bought a bouquet of Ruda plant to scare away our child spirits from the fig tree until the Father can come bless the house for us. After I got the Ruda, I had to go buy bread and butter for dinner…. I was standing in line to pay when…:

Man in line: Oh, Ruda plant. Are you using it for medicine or do you have spirits??

Me: Umm…. We have spirits????

Man: Oh, yes. Hang this from your ceilings and you will be fine.

Woman in line: You also need to make sure to change the water everyday because the ghosts know when the plant is dying.

Me: Ok, thanks a lot. I will make sure to do that.

Man: Have your house blessed too if you can. It worked for me when we had ghosts. Now the ghosts are gone!! Have a good night!! Enjoy your dinner.

            Great. Everyone knows about our haunted ghost house. So now we have Ruda in every room to scare away our baby infant spirits and their friends. I guess using one illogical idea to help me feel better about another illogical idea balances it out?? Right??

Our anti spirit station

            We attributed Kyle’s trouble sleeping to the ghosts for awhile, but then decided to try to get to the bottom of it in a realistic way. So he decided to ask his co-workers at The Posta, the clinic that he works at with a malnutrition project, thinking they were medical and would definitely know what to do. He asked with hopes of a prescription medication, “I have been waking up at 5am daily with no alarm and can’t get back to sleep. I am always exhausted.” He then stood still for 15 minutes while a woman floated an egg around his entire body and cracked it into a cup to “read” the yolk. “Oh”, she said, “You are feeling shame. This is why you can’t sleep. You need to drink water from boiled celery every night before bed.”

Since this wasn’t exactly the most helpful or dependable information, I decided to ask MY co-workers at Hospice. I was out working in the community with my co-workers Amparo and Cesar. Here is how this scene played out…

Me: He wakes up at 5am every day sharp and can’t get back to sleep. He is always so tired and sleepy. Do you have any advice?? Maybe a doctor at the clinic or a medicine he can take to help??

Cesar (pressing on his palms): Yes, you need to do a reflexology massage. First press here, this is for his head. Then press here, this is for his stomach. Then press here…

Amparo: No no no. What he needs to do is boil the heart of a lettuce head, and then drink the water from the boiled lettuce.

Cesar: OR, he can boil celery and drink the celery water.….

            While Cesar was explaining this, I look to the side and see Amparo climbing over a fence into some random person’s yard to pick white bell flowers off of a tree. Totally confused, I see a man come out of his house and start yelling. I assumed he was angry…

Owner of the house: What are you doing????

Amparo: Her friend is having trouble sleeping!!

Owner of house: Oh, yes, you can take as many of these flowers as you want!! Also, I noticed that you have a limp while you were walking up, if you pick the leaves off of this plant and rub them on your knee, you will feel totally better in the morning!!

Amparo: Thank you Senor!! I will do that tonight before bed. Goodbye!!

            I was then instructed to give Kyle a reflexology massage before bed, have him drink lettuce water, burn incense, and then put the white bell flowers under his pillow at night. The magical flower apparently makes you sleep harder than any medicine ever could…. We tried this. And guess what?? Kyle didn’t wake up at 5am the next day. So maybe these crazy natural remedies really do work… ??

So here is a list of what I have learned so far:

-Lettuce water helps you relax and sleep better

-Celery water will cure an upset stomach
-Putting fresh rosemary in your pillow will make lice leave your head bc they hate the smell

-Hang an aloe vera plant upside down from the ceiling to absorb negative energy.... but if there is too much negative energy in your house the plant will die so you will have to keep getting new ones if you are super pessimistic

-Anis tea and Manzanilla tea helps you relax

-Eating five cloves of garlic a day will get rid of an intestinal parasite

-Drinking grapeseed extract will get rid of an intestinal parasite

-To get rid of feelings of shame, guilt, fear, or anger, rub a newspaper or piece of bread all over your body and then throw it away or burn it

-If you are having a spiritual or emotional disturbance, have an old Peruvian woman rub an egg around your aura and read the yolk to tell you what your problem is

-After giving someone a massage, you need to wipe all of the negative energy downwards off of your body and open your hands towards the earth so you don’t become sick as a result of the negative vibes you absorb from the massage

-Oregano tea will get rid of menstrual cramps

-Reflexology massages solve everything

-Eating tiny insects that live in moldy bread called Gorbojos will prevent cancer

-Eating Guavana leaves cures cancer

-Ruda plant will get rid of ghosts and spirits that roam around your house, but don’t forget to change the water daily!!

            These past two weeks have been pretty crazy, and to say the least, unbelievable. But we are loving all of these new natural remedies that we have to try and stories we have to tell. Last night, we spent hours trying to de-lice my hair and by 2am were so exhausted no one was even talking anymore. As Emily was picking Lice eggs off my scalp, Kyle was drinking his lettuce water and pulling fleas off of Fidea’s neck, Kelli was rubbing her anti-inflammatory cream into her foot rash, and our baby spirit ghosts were floating around our backyard, Kyle broke the silence with a very good point… “Sooooooo, shouldn’t there be some kind of tea potion you can drink or magical leaf you can rub on your head for this so we can finally just go to bed??”